CCP Oughta Know

EVE Online is a massively multiplayer space sim, where 15,000 to 40,000 players are logged in at any one time. The game is massive in scope, but battles between the largest player coalitions are plagued by unplayable lag.

In these epic fights (which can involve more than 1000 players on a battlefield) victory often comes to the side that can log in more quickly during lag, or is lucky enough to not become desynched; not the team using better strategy, or the one with more firepower. This video parodies this frustrating aspect of EVE Online, and pokes fun at its developer, CCP, who is responsible for the game’s server hardware and architecture.

Original song: “You Oughta Know” by Alanis Morissette. From the album, “Jagged Little Pill” (1995).

[VERSE]

I… want… you to know
that I’m… sor-ry for you.
You… do… nothing ’bout
the lag for us all.

Another version of Eve
not this false Tran-quility
some mythic game where we can… fight fairly
Oh how I dream of this place
but now I’m stuck here in space
and staring at this black-screen-’cuz, I can’t… login

[CHORUS]

‘Cause the fix that you gave that you made wasn’t able to make it enough for us to field half our guys. No!
And every time you help Jita do they know how you hold us, you sold us
on fleet battles! Fleet battles!
But we still all died!

And I’m here to remind you
Of the lag that plagues each and every day
It’s not fair to deny me
of the end game content I pay to see
C-C-P oughta know!

[VERSE]

Eve… does… very well.
Ji-ta’s… sta-ble.
We’re… not… quite as well,
the logs ought to show.

Did you forget about fleets, are you rich CCP?
I hate to bug you in the middle of profit
It’s such a slap in the face, when ships are never replaced
And how long before you think we’ll say “@#$% it!”

[CHORUS]

‘Cause the fix that you gave that you made wasn’t able to make it enough for us to log 50 caps, no!
And every time you help Jita do they know how you sold us, you told us
“it’s client side,” “client side,”
but now the node’s died!

And I’m here to remind you
Of the lag that plagues each and every day
It’s not fair to deny me
of the end game content I pay to see
C-C-P oughta know!

[BRIDGE]

[CHORUS]

‘Cause the joke that just paid for a 4th alt was me and I’m not gonna fade as soon as you let us die
And you know it!
And every time I suicide gank some poor carebear’s Hulk I hope you feel it
Well can you feel it?!?

Well I’m here to remind you
of the lag that plagues us still to this day
It’s not fair to deny me
of the end game content I pay to see
C-C-P oughta know
why I’m here to remind you
Of the lag that plagues each and every day
It’s not fair to deny me
of the end game content I pay to see
C-C-P oughta know!

Author: TheMaster42
Keywords: Eve Online Alanis Morissette Oughta Know parody lag fleet battle unplayable CCP
Added: October 4, 2008